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Writer's pictureCora Boyd

Breaking Love Patterns: Why You Attract the Same Types and How to Change It

Ever wondered why you're repeatedly drawn to the same type of person in your love life?


The key is to first acknowledge that this archetype is not just attracted to you; you are attracted to them.


This blog post delves into why you might be attracted to this archetype and what it is in your behaviors that attracts this certain type of person.


Understand the Magnetic Pull


What is the point of attraction in this pattern?


If, for example, you're continuously attracting people who are emotionally distant and unavailable, what in that might actually feel 'safer' to you than someone who is emotionally open and available? And where in our behaviors and our communication are we signaling that we're available for this kind of relationship?


Explore the Inverse Attraction


If you find yourself attracting people who dive in super quickly, what is the energetic inverse of that attraction point? It could be a lack of boundaries, a lack of self-regulation, or a sense of urgency stemming from fear and scarcity. From a place of compassion, not blame, we aim to understand how behaviorally we might be the inverse in that point of attraction, in interplay to this behavioral pattern in the other person.


Shift Your Own Behavior


Realizing how our behaviors, such as being inauthentically cool or overly accommodating, might be attractive to someone who wants to play the game of 'anything goes,' is crucial. As we shift our own behaviors, boundaries, and energy, we influence who is attracted to us, and who naturally redirects themselves out of our orbit.


Be Willing to be Unattractive to Unwanted Archetypes


Here's the kicker: we actually get to become willing to be unattractive and unappealing to the person, the archetype, that we no longer want to attract.


This can be very uncomfortable to the part of us that seeks approval, but is ultimately what liberates us from the cycle.


Realize the Ego's Role


This process allows us to see that we've been getting something out of this pattern, like the ego's desire for approval. Letting go of the need to be attractive and appealing to this archetype is where real change happens.


You stop feeding the pattern by shifting our need for validation from this type of person and scenario.


Embrace Indifference and Power


As we move from a mindset of 'why does this always happen to me?' to an energy of indifference, we diffuse the pattern's power over us. By neutralizing the energetic charge, we find immense power in allowing change and embracing a new path in our love life.


How does this apply to you and your love life? Learn how in Romance Rewired.

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