How to find freedom in a committed relationship
Freedom and commitment are not mutually exclusive.
Commitment actually creates freedom.
Freedom has always been one of my core values. I wanted freedom in relationships, freedom in my lifestyle, freedom to create what I want to create, freedom to do whatever I want, freedom in my thoughts.
I understood freedom as an abundance of choice and the availability to make whichever choice I wanted.
But I misunderstood commitment as a choice that cuts off the abundance of choice and inhibits your availability to make more choices.
In a certain era, I unconsciously avoided commitment in relationships because I had experienced the kind of relationship in which I felt contorted into a box, held back in my desire to explore and try on new experiences, identities, and schools of thought. I thought that being in a relationship meant compromising my freedom.
I unconsciously avoided commitment to moving decisively forward in one career, or where to live, because what if I changed my mind?
Where in your life are you in the limbo of perusing the menu indefinitely but not making a choice?
You get to actually enjoy the freedom of choice when you make a choice.
Commitment facilitates freedom. It is the energetic investment of going all-in on one choice. It opens up portal after portal of more and more choices.
Within the context of commitment, you always have the freedom to course correct.
I had to commit to my business in order to create freedom in my lifestyle that I have.
I commit to pockets of work structure within my business, which creates the surplus of space to “dick around” outside of that structure.
The commitment in my relationship creates a touchpoint of stability that is the springboard for MORE freedom in every aspect of my life. Because the commitment to freedom is a shared core value and is baked into the foundation of our relationship.
Commitment creates the context for freedom. Making strong choices creates more choices.
What does freedom mean to you?
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