Why tension is hot
In most areas of life, we want to diffuse any possible tension.
In a professional meeting, we look to find common ground before things get heated. At a family dinner, we steer the conversation away from the burrito incident of 2009 before steam starts coming out of dad’s ears. In friendships, we may respectfully agree to disagree.
But flirting is a dance of creating, holding, and leaning into tension.
We call it sexual TENSION for a reason, after all.
Whether through surprisingly honest directness, a good-natured disagreement or breaking of rapport, humor, unexpected expressions of interest, or any variety of #boldmove, flirting is a form of playfulness. And playfulness is characterized by alchemizing & wielding tension.
Socially, we make decisions based on how we feel, & we find rationale to back it up. We decide to see someone again because we like how we felt with them, & because we feel intrigued.
It is this tension and excitement that creates intrigue & distinguishes a date full of 🦋 butterflies 🦋 & OMG ME TOO, from just two people eating Shepard’s pie at the same table.
In dating, tension is your wingman. Befriend it. Lean into it. Enjoy it. Create it. Play with it. Keep ‘em on the edge of their seat, & allow it all to be just a little bit uncomfortable. This, my dudes, is where the magic happens. ✨💫⭐️🐝💕🦋💗
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